Leadership is one of those words we all nod at, but few of us stop to truly unpack. What does it actually mean to lead? Is it holding a title? Having the loudest voice in the room? Being the first one in and the last one out of the office?

I don’t think so.

To me, leadership isn’t about position. It’s about presence. It’s about the energy you bring, the way you stretch others without breaking them, and the awareness you cultivate of how your behaviour shapes those around you. And the truth is, leadership isn’t reserved for CEOs or business owners. Every one of us leads in some way — whether it’s a team, a business, a family, or even just our own lives.

In this blog, I want to share what I’ve come to believe are some of the most overlooked yet powerful dimensions of leadership: the energy phenomenon, the rubber band effect, the role of collaboration, and the hidden impact of anxiety. Together, these form a different lens through which to view leadership — one that’s human, sustainable, and, most importantly, effective.

Leadership as an Energy Phenomenon

We’ve all walked into a room and instantly felt the vibe. Sometimes it’s buzzing, inspiring, alive. Other times it’s heavy, tense, flat. That “vibe” isn’t random. It’s the energy of the leader, amplified through the team.

I learned this the hard way. There were days I walked into a meeting already stressed from juggling ten other priorities. I thought I could hide it, but within minutes the team mirrored back my tension. People became short with each other, ideas dried up, and the room turned into survival mode instead of possibility mode.

What changed? My energy.

As leaders, we are amplifiers. If I’m distracted, anxious, or negative, my team feels it — and they carry it. But if I bring clarity, focus, and belief, it spreads like wildfire. Leadership is an energy phenomenon. It’s not just what we say; it’s the state we show up in.

Ask yourself: If my energy was contagious, would I want people catching it?

The Rubber Band Effect

One of the metaphors I live by in leadership is the “rubber band effect.” A good rubber band stretches. It can expand far beyond its resting point — but if you pull it too far, it snaps.

Leading people is no different.

Our job as leaders isn’t to keep people comfortable. Comfort zones may feel safe, but nothing grows there. My role is to stretch people beyond what they thought they could do, into spaces of learning, creativity, and resilience. But, and this is crucial, I also need to know when to ease off. Too much pressure, too many demands without support, and people don’t grow; they break.

The art of leadership is sensing where that edge is for each individual. Some need encouragement to step up, others need space to breathe. Leadership is dynamic, not one-size-fits-all.

And here’s the kicker: while I’m stretching others, I also need to allow myself to be stretched. Great leaders are rubber bands too. We must keep expanding our own capacity, emotionally, intellectually, strategically, or we risk becoming the ceiling that holds everyone else down.

More Heads Are Better Than One

When I first started leading, I thought leadership meant having all the answers. After all, wasn’t that what people expected of me? But very quickly, I discovered that pretending to know everything is the fastest way to stall progress.

The truth is, leadership isn’t about knowing; it’s about asking. It’s about creating a culture where other voices are heard, where different perspectives are valued, and where collaboration becomes the default, not the exception.

Some of the best ideas I’ve implemented didn’t come from me. They came from people on the “front lines” — the staff member who dealt with clients daily, the assistant who saw inefficiencies I’d overlooked, the colleague from a completely different industry who asked one question that changed my whole approach.

When we lead from ego, we close the door on all that brilliance. When we lead from curiosity, we open the floodgates.

The Silent Saboteur: Anxiety

If energy is contagious, anxiety is the invisible toxin that can poison a team. And here’s the kicker… often it doesn’t even come from the team itself. It comes from us.

Anxiety whispers in a leader’s ear: “You don’t have enough time. You’re not good enough. Don’t take that risk. What if you fail?” And while we think we’re keeping those fears inside, they seep out in the way we communicate, in the decisions we make, in the culture we create.

Harvard Business Review recently highlighted how leaders unintentionally stress out their teams through unrealistic deadlines, unclear expectations, or constant shifting of priorities. I’ve been guilty of all three at some point. Each time, I thought I was “driving performance.” In reality, I was fuelling anxiety. And when anxiety runs the show, creativity and trust disappear.

That’s why the inner work of leadership is just as important as the outer work. If I don’t manage my own state, I can’t expect my team to thrive. Leadership isn’t just strategy; it’s emotional responsibility.

Leadership as a Daily Practice

So where does this leave us? For me, it comes down to recognising that leadership isn’t a skill you tick off a list. It’s a practice. It’s a commitment to showing up with awareness, to checking in on your energy, to stretching yourself and others, to asking better questions, and to owning the ripple effect you create.

Here are a few practices that have grounded me:

• Morning reset: Before I walk into any room, I ask myself, “What energy do I want to bring?” This one question changes everything.
• Stretch with care: I regularly ask my team, “What’s stretching you right now?” It gives me real-time insight into whether they’re growing or breaking.
• Invite voices: I make a point of asking the quietest person in the room for their perspective. More often than not, it’s gold.
• Name the anxiety: When I feel fear creeping in, I call it out, even to my team. It humanises me, and it shows them that vulnerability and leadership can co-exist.

Remember

You don’t have to lose in life to win in business. But you do have to lead with intention. Leadership is not about hierarchy or hustle; it’s about energy, stretch, collaboration, and courage. It’s about being human first and a leader second.

And maybe the most important question we can ask ourselves each day is this:

“Am I leading in a way I’d want to be led?”

If the answer is yes, then we’re on the right track. If not, we have work to do and that work begins within.

If you’re ready to step into leadership that energises rather than drains, stretches without breaking, and inspires growth in yourself and others, this is exactly what we dive into inside my 12 Week Business Fit Challenge. It’s where you’ll build the mindset, habits and strategies to become the kind of leader who wins in business and in life. Doors are open now.